Food Funnies ArchiveBy Tom Fitzmorris
Latest At Top. Some Links May Be Expired.
Was It The Tomatoes, Or The Check? On the lookout for things that might make you sick at dinner. Click here for today's cartoon.
Farmer's Markets Are Great! But consistency is not their strong suit. Click here for today's cartoon.
Foods You Really Want To Avoid. And that's since the beginning of time. Click here for today's cartoon.
You Have To Work It Into Your Diet Wherever You Can. A source of fiber we never thought of before. Click here for today's cartoon.
Fettuccine Bold And Al Dente Italic, Too. But limit yourself to just one font to avoid having your soup taste like a mishmash. Click here for today's cartoon.
Some Stuffed Dishes Are Better Than Others. And some have a really long shelf life. Click here for today's cartoon.
Just A Little Something For Breakfast. Does he want grits with that? Click here for today's cartoon.
Doughnuts In The Diet. It's not what kind, but how many. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Poor Boy Sandwich Illusion. It's not a pretty sight when it molts. Click here for today's cartoon.
It's Got To Be Really Low And Really Slow. That's how you have to handle the big, wild cuts. Click here for today's cartoon.
Advertising Is Everywhere Nowadays. And it's never too late to change your mind about where to go for dinner. Click here for today's cartoon.
Container For Old Wine. It doesn't feel better as the wine ages. Click here for today's cartoon.
What Happens If You Drink To Forget. You may as well forget to eat. Click here for today's cartoon.
National Rabbit Day Was June 6. But if it's really fresh. . . Click here for today's cartoon.
Why You Can't Have Red Beans On Tuesday. Days have different names for a reason. Click here for today's cartoon.
How To Handle The Tip Jar. If you thought it was an imposition. Click here for today's cartoon.
No Wonder We Hate Diet Cookbooks. The motivation of the writer was the problem all along. Click here for today's cartoon.
Getting The Pieces You Like. That's the problem with chicken. Click here for today's cartoon.
Another Reason We Like Screw Caps. It's become so hard to find replacement corkscrew worms at Home Depot. Click here for today's cartoon.
And This Is Broccoli, While That Is Watermelon. Telling the difference is taking longer. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Relaxation Of Dining Out With Friends. Getting them to pay their part of the check is harder when you do it this way, though. Click here for today's cartoon.
Crawling Around The Base Of The Food Pyramid. The mollusks are getting feisty around here. Click here for today's cartoon.
He'll Have A Haircut With Meatballs. Some grow straight, others are curly. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Reason It Takes So Long To Get Steaks Cut To Order. The butcher has his issues, too. Click here for today's cartoon.
Herbal Imbalance Can Throw More Than A Dish Off. TIt can ruin what would otherwise have been a great date. Click here for today's cartoon.
A New Way To Deal With Noisy Restaurants. As long as the place has a good signal. Click here for today's cartoon.
Why Food In Supermarkets Is Less Than First-Class. Because the wrong kind of green is at issue. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Urgency Of Having Coffee Nearby. They're running out of good corner locations. Click here for today's cartoon.
I Must Be 40% Chicory. And ten percent beignets. Click here for today's cartoon.
Actually, This Is How Many New Recipes Begin. If it had been hollandaise, the culprit would have been me. Click here for today's cartoon.
Never Question Sausage. It's always better than it sounds. Click here for today's cartoon.
Clothes For Eating. Also comes in chocolate, avocado, and salmon. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Next Great Wine Could Turn Up Anywhere. And I want to try some oak syrup on my blinis. Click here for today's cartoon.
Oh, No! He'll Never Read This! And he was one of our best subscribers! Click here for today's cartoon.
Burgers And Fries To Go--But Where? Click here for today's cartoon.
What's The Expiration Date? Any xanthan gum in here?. Click here for today's cartoon.
And That's Not Counting The Midnight Buffet. The transformation of cruise passengers into cargo, and the limits thereto. Click here for today's cartoon.
Virginia Ham Or Southern Fried Chicken? Dagwood's basis for deciding is completely valid. Click here for today's cartoon.
There's A Reason Live Music Winds Up In A Bar. The musicians set standards of taste. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Restaurant Server's Handbook. Chapter One: How to keep from hating your customers. Click here for today's cartoon.
Every Time A Baker Bakes. . . a chick dies. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Rare Vegetarian. A very demanding customer. Click here for today's cartoon.
We Need A Really Big Table. Under a sprinkler, preferably. Click here for today's cartoon.
One For My Radio Listeners. Where have you heard this before? Click here for today's cartoon.
Not A Good Cook, But A Resourceful One. In an Art Deco comic strip, from when artists knew how to draw. Love the last panel. (Hold down the Control key and roll your mouse wheel up to make this easier to read.) Click here for today's cartoon.
Consistency. It's nice to know which dishes you can always count on. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Bun Is A Little Too Crunchy. Some words of advice from an expert on the subject of a unique diet. Click here for today's cartoon.
Starbucks Goes Downscale. And takes some cues from the Time Saver. Click here for today's cartoon.
What Happened After The Famous Race. Turtle meat is getting hard to find, anyway. Click here for today's cartoon.
Learning The Verbals. One waitress's method of remembering all tonight's specials. Click here for today's cartoon.
How Picky Can You Be? Eating very locally. And what if he sends the dish back? Click here for today's cartoon.
Prepared For The Long Haul. And it's airtight, keeping spoilage to a minimum. Click here for today's cartoon.
Fair Trade. If your food budget is out of control, there's always the black market. Click here for today's cartoon.
A New Perspective On Easter Candy. And the Easter bunny, too. Click here for today's cartoon.
Sausage Series, 4. Freshness. It's so important that it's measured in minutes. Click here for today's cartoon.
Sausage Series, 3. Additives. But they think it's good for you. Click here for today's cartoon.
Sausage Series, 2. The Basics. It helps to be a Boy Scout. Click here for today's cartoon.
Sausage Series, 1. Start with the best ingredients. Click here for today's cartoon.
Look Closely At The Soup. You might miss the fine print. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Walking, Talking Beignet. With fillings! Click here for today's cartoon.
Up The Coffee Chain. Second-hand caffeine. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Way The Pie Crust Crumbles. Or doesn't. Click here for today's cartoon.
At Least They Know How Their Strike Will Turn Out. An unusual job action that will bring uncertainty to patrons of Chinese restaurants. Click here for today's cartoon.
It Probably Would Have Been Better Frozen. Next time, try the veal. Click here for today's cartoon.
Is It Farm Raised Or Wild-Caught? Some issues connected with the ctach of the day. Click here for today's cartoon.
I Think I May Have Dined At This Place. Something about the unappetizer sounds familiar. Click here for today's cartoon.
High-Flown Easter Dinner. In two courses. Click for today's cartoon.
You Can Take The Chuck Wagon Out Of The Chef, But. . . You can't make him think he's not still out on the range. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Route Gets Busy This Time Of Year. This might not help your cold, but it can't hurt! Click here for today's cartoon.
What Cocktails Do You Try Before Love Potion Number Nine? And if you don't see this one coming. . . Click here for today's cartoon.
Never Grease The Handle Before Sharpening The Blade. And always have a can of spackle nearby.
Click here for today's cartoon.
They're In The Potato Family. And they're multiplying rapidly. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Final Recipe. How would you like it to go? Click here for today's cartoon.
Salad Dressing Helps The Balance Of Trade. Especially with the OPEC countries. And the vinegar cartel, too, we imagine. Click here for today's cartoon.
So That's Where They Come From. But what are hash browns, then? Click here for today's cartoon.
Cabbage Is A Good Friend. But baking soda may be a better one. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Right To Daily Specials. But whose right is it? Click here for today's cartoon.
A Rating You Can't Refuse. From the family's restaurant critic. Click here for today's cartoon.
Where Did That Escargot? It was here just a minute agot. Click here for today's cartoon.
Another Frog Classic. From Sam Gross, who drew the most famous cartoon ever on the subject of eating frog's legs, comes a new one on the same subject. Click here for today's cartoon.
What Happens In A Vegetable Uprising? Well, somebody might come out of it a lot less crisp. Click here for today's cartoon.
Nightmare In Dining Number 7801. What restaurants won't do to avoid putting fresh flowers on the table. Click here for today's cartoon.
At Last: A Standard For Food That Hits The Floor. How many seconds before it turns to garbage, and what happens if you don't heed the warning. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Literature Of The Dining Room. You wish they'd leave in in those books on the shelf in the bar. Click here for today's cartoon.
How To Fill A Restaurant With People. It's all in the name. Click here for today's cartoon.
A Dummy Cocktail. But we all knew what this guy would order, didn't we? Click here for today's cartoon.
Navigating By The Restaurant Stars. Well, what's so strange about this? I do it all the time. I'm glad everybody knows where Dorignac's is. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Delusionary Dieter. More entertaining than seeing stars, but still, it's a sign of extreme stress. Click here for today's cartoon.
Heat Can't Harm This Stuff, Anyway. And certainly you'll be able to continue collecting the containers until you get a full set. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Ghost Of Breakfasts Future. How did your parents avoid suicide in the morning? Click here for today's cartoon.
A Good Excuse, At Last, For Drive-Thru Food. But watch out for the police. Click here for today's cartoon.
Why Your Spouse Isn't The Best Dining Partner. But what right have you to expect that you share a brain? Click here for today's cartoon.
The Next Wave Of Responsible Dining. You first have to find out how your food feels about it. Click here for today's cartoon.
How To Add Excitement To Ribs. You "tickle" them. But be careful. And wear a bib. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Perfume To Hook An Eater. If you want to guess before you look, here's a clue: the male in this one is Dagwood. Click here for today's cartoon.
At The Very End, You Get A Complimentary Mint. I wonder whether, in this case, you can sneak more than one. Click here for today's cartoon.
One Swinging Cookie. There's always cookies when grandma is involved. Click here for today's cartoon.
What's Wrong With Your Spice Rack. Surely you know that you must spend a minute or two with this every day. Click here for today's cartoon.
Wild Game Returns To The Menu. But only for certain customers. Click here for today's cartoon.
Breakfast In Bed Can Be Memorable. But not always for the right reasons. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Gravy Is The Important Thing. But there may be such a thingas too much gravy. Click here for today's cartoon.
How Many Potatoes Can You Eat? Or did you lose count? Click here for today's cartoon.
What's With This Roast? I can't recall. Click here for today's cartoon.
I Know That Recipe! But I don't want to share it with you. Click here for today's cartoon.
Lunch With Roaring Hormones. Dining with the attitude from that special time of life. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Future Of Bread Cubes. How many do we really need? Click here for today's cartoon.
Is That The Chef Sitting At Table 14? You'd certainly think so. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Way To Wow Your Socially Prominent Friends. Make really good home cooking. Click here for today's cartoon.
When Does The Fruitcake Man Come By? It's the same day that the man who picks up the. . . (This will be the final fruitcake joke for this year, we promise.) Click here for today's cartoon.
The Forum Of Ancient Pasta. This looks as if it's in Rome somewhere, not far from the tomb of Chef Boiardi. Click here for today's cartoon.
It's About Time For The Annual Fruitcake Joke, Isn't It? Yes. Click here for today's cartoon.
Would You Like A Garden Salad? Yes? Well, where do you think that comes from, anyway? Click here for today's cartoon.
The Differences Among The Samenesses. The seach for the best of a chain restaurant. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Ultimate End Of The Cocktail Craze. Is there an end to the creativity? Click here for today's cartoon.
For The Love Of Corned Beef And Cabbage. It can drive a good Irishman to some strange decisions. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Cocktail Recommended By Your Dentist. It's colorless, odorless, and flavorless. Click here for today's cartoon.
What Does Santa Really Want For A Midnight Snack? You know he's hungry when he arrives, but will cookies be right? What if. . . Click here for today's cartoon.
A Christmas Food Injury. And the funny thing is that it only takes one for this to happen to a bunch of people. Click here for today's cartoon.
How Much Is Too Much Egg Nog? I don't know the recommended limit, but it depends on your previous egg content. Click here for today's cartoon.
Taking Chocolate Too Far. A chef faces up to the responsibility. Click here for today's cartoon.
A Radio Station About Food? What kind of crazy idea is that? But this may be one of those jokes that becomes real in a few years. Click here for today's cartoon.
Fun With Lobster. And a full line of accessories. And we're not talking about drawn butter. Click here for today's cartoon.
How Is Nothing With You Folks So Far? The questions we've all come to hate. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Last Step In The Martini Wars. First the two-bit martini, than the ten-cent martini, and now. . . Click here for today's cartoon.
Where Was Pizza Really Invented? What if. . . uh. . . Mexico? Click here for today's cartoon.
The Downside Of Organic Food And Drink. Or is that a banana tree in your ear? Click here for today's cartoon.
The Best Advertisement For Pizza. It's about the alternatives. Click here for today's cartoon.
Tasting Menu On A Stick. Click here for today's cartoon.
One Man's Bottle Of Red Is Another Man's. . . Well, you'd better look at this. Once a waiter presented a bottle of this to me, and. . . Click here for today's cartoon.
You've Got The Let The Rules Go Sometimes. Or, you should be allowed to eat anything you want on your birthday. Click here for today's cartoon.
A Really Large-Format Champagne. Champagne is served by the glass, the split, the bottle, the magnum, double magnum, imperial, methuselah, and other sizes. . . but this is a new one on me. Click here for today's cartoon.
Eat Where The Locals Eat. And then you'll find the best food, so it's said. Well, maybe it depends on who the locals are. Click here for today's cartoon.
Growing Your Own Grows Other Things, Too. Or, how to really run up a food bill. Click here for today's cartoon.
What Do You Want In A Dining Companion? It's this or that. Click here for today's cartoon.
Virtual Vegetables. I think we're no more than a year from the day when some chain tries this to make you think you ate your veggies. Click here for today's cartoon.
Will you eat food that has a face? If not, maybe you'll go for this dish anyway. Click here for today's cartoon.
Okay, let me get this straight. . . you say there's food in this place? Click here for today's cartoon.
Among the many travails of restaurant servers is the customer who loses count. Click here for today's cartoon.
The Widening Battle Against Trans-Fats. If it's reached this guy's kitchen, then it's everywhere now. Click here for today's cartoon.
The correct order of eating. An existential look at how dinner should be constructed. Click here for today's cartoon.
Buggy. So the restaurant manager said, "Oh, no! Those must have come from the restaurant next door. How about we give you a free after dinner drink to make up for it?" Click here for today's cartoon.
Ah, for the days when one ate grandly aboard classy train dining cars, at a table with oddball characters. Here's what it was like. Click here for today's comic strip.
A ruling in food court, from The New Yorker. Click here for the cartoon.
Pavlov's dog experiments in action. Click here for today's cartoon.
Here's how to slice potatoes into French fries and get a good aerobic workout at the same time. Click here for the cartoon.
What do you do when popcorn catches fire? Click here for the cartoon.
It's about really, really hot chili. Click here for the cartoon.
Do you really know what's in the meat case? Click here.
© 2007 Tom Fitzmorris. All rights reserved. news@nomenu.com