Archived Article By Tom Fitzmorris Originally published February 19, 2007 Mardi Gras Eating Bites Every year I make the following appeal, in the hopes that we can do something about the street fare we're subjected to at Mardi Gras parades. Which is horrible. And it doesn't need to be. The whole idea of Carnival is to indulge in an eating and drinking orgy before we submit to the privations of Lent. The practice probably has some prehistoric roots: our ancestors ate the very last of the store of food, then were forced to near-starvation as winter played out its last bleak days. So why is this ancient eating festival in America's best eating city marked by the worst imaginable food and drink? Some years ago, a friend of mine reported what he called a major upgrade in the street food at Mardi Gras parades. "Polish sausage!" he said. "It's great! Onions and bell peppers on a big bun, with mustard. And it's all served hot! Sure beats a dried-out hamburger!" Now he says it's a tradition to eat a Polish sausage sandwich at a parade. Indeed, Polish sausage does beat most of what's out there. Which says just how bad what's out there is. Polish sausage is what you eat at festivals and ballgames and circuses and gerbil roundups in Anywhere, USA. How is it that, here in America's best eating city, we have to eat the same sorry stuff? Where, for example, is the boudin? Somebody must be selling it along some parade route, but it ought to be on every other corner, along with popcorn shrimp, jambalaya, gumbo, Natchitoches meat pies, seafood poor boys, beignets and cafe au lait. The only option--and it's one that more Orleanians avail themselves of every year--is eating in a restaurant before or after the parade. But that's a problem too. The restaurants along the parade routes are jammed, and sometimes raise their prices absurdly. (Although some have special packages that include private grandstands and the like.) And their food suffers this time of year, because the sort of person who is likely to be a cook or a waiter is also the sort of person who is likely to partake in Mardi Gras festivities to a degree well beyond the norm. No-shows at Carnival time are a major headache for all restaurants here. But this trend lacks real Mardi Gras spirit. I'd like to see some real street food, sold from carts. But with a serious New Orleans flavor. The kind of thing that panel trucks from out of town (that's where most of the street food vendors come from, you know) would not be able to compete with. We have a great model for the makeover: the Jazz Festival. As great as the music is, most of us think at least as much about the eats as the notes. The Jazz Festival's food is as good as it is because the Festival has an approval process for the quality, local color, and value of the food its vendors sell. At Mardi Gras, anybody can come in and serve anything. The most appealing part of this is that it would attract a whole new bunch of people to parades, and make it a much more interesting party. (Let's face it: except for kids, the typical parade themes are sub-moronic.) It might even persuade people to move up and down the street to find the next treat. Imagine: the Sleaziest Free Show On Earth transformed into a singular eating experience. It makes me hungry just to think about it! © 2007 Tom Fitzmorris. All rights reserved. news@nomenu.com