Food Almanac

Annals Of
Popular Cuisine

Chef George Crum invented potato chips today in 1853. He worked in a resort in Saratoga Springs, New York. The chips were meant as an insult to a customer who complained that Crum's fried potatoes were too thick. The chef sliced them paper-thin, fried them, and sent them out. The customer loved them, and so did the chef. And they took off in popularity from there. Few restaurants serve freshly-fried potato chips locally; more ought to.

Appetizing Places
Three streams in Idaho are all named Dip Creek. Coming from different directions the water from all three winds up in the Snake, the major tributary of the Columbia. What are the chances of that? The first is in the southeast corner of the state, hard on the Wyoming state line, in the ski areas of the Rockies near Soda Springs and Jackson Hole. It runs five miles and drops about a thousand feet before its water enters Dry Creek. The second Dip Creek is up in some more serious mountains, a 158-mile drive east from Boise. This one drops about 1500 feet through a canyon into the Big Wood River. The third Dip Creek is in the Idaho Panhandle, 134 miles east of Spokane, Washington. It begins on the slope of Crescendo Mountain (what a great name!) and drops 2200 feet through a rough, tree-filled wilderness canyon. It goes six miles to the Foehl River, a tributary of the Clearwater River and then the Snake. None of these are near any known restaurants, so pack the potato chips in.

Deft Dining Rule #125
A fish and chips vendor without malt vinegar is like an oyster bar without Tabasco, an Italian restaurant without Parmigiana cheese, or a sushi bar without wasabi.

Today's Flavor
It is National Gyros Day--but only in the United States. Gyros, pronounced any way you like but most commonly "ghee-rho," is a staple of American Greek restaurants. It may have been invented in this country, although that's not certain. It is uncommon in Greece, except where American tourists congregate. No classical Greek dish is like it, although Lebanese shawarma is similar. It's certainly not old; no mention of it has been found earlier than the 1970s.

Gyros is a processed blend of finely-chopped lamb and sometimes beef with seasonings, pressed into a tapering cylinder which is then mounted on a vertical rotisserie. Assuming the stuff is sold at a reasonable pace, the outside of this cylinder gets a little crust from the flame it passes on every rotation. The chef slices it off from top to bottom.

Gyros is serves as either a platter or a sandwich. In either case, it's accompanied by pita bread, tzatziki sauce (a white sauce of yogurt, cucumber, and dill) lettuce, and tomatoes. If it's a sandwich, sometimes it's stuffed into the pocket of the pita, and sometimes the pita is wrapped around it like a taco shell. Despite its processed, fast-food aspect, gyros is pretty good. It's certainly a great change of pace from the hamburger, which it resembles in enough ways to become popular.

Edible Dictionary
pita, n.--A flatbread baked in such a way that a pocket forms in the center. The pocket can be filled with a wide variety of foods, but the most common is the spit-roasted processed meat called gyros. Pita bread is by far the most common form of bread in the Middle East. In fact, in Aramaic the word means "bread." It's served with every dish and used to scoop up almost any scoopable food. It's related to the naan of India, and in fact was at one time baked in a similar oven to an Indian tandoor. Pitas are baked at very high temperatures--at least 450 degrees. As the exterior becomes firm it traps steam inside, which separates the top and bottom into the pocket. In the United States, pita has become popular as a crust for a quick pizza.

Disastrous Interruptions Of Dinner
Mount Vesuvius's most famous eruption--the one that buried Pompeii and Herculaneum--occurred on this date in 79 AD. From the excavations in the lava we've been able to learn much about the lifestyles of the Romans at that especially rich time in their history. Pompeii is an astonishing place to see, but go on a cool day--the heat there is unbearable in summer. Those rich Romans must have dressed lightly.

Annals Of Breakfast
Today in 1869, Cornelius Swarthout of Troy, New York patented a waffle iron. Although waffles existed for hundreds of years, and Thomas Jefferson brought a patterned waffle iron back from the Netherlands (where they have long been popular), Swarthout's breakthrough was in creating the grid pattern we now identify with waffles. In those days before electricity, the iron was heated over an open fire or in an oven.

Movie Restaurants
Alice's Restaurant, a movie about the place where "you can get anything you want, excepting Alice," premiered today in 1969. It grew out of a long, folksy, humorous song performed by the movie's star, Arlo Guthrie. The recording was better than the movie, a prime piece of pop culture of the late 1960s.

Looking Up
Today in 2006, the International Astronomical Union stripped Pluto of its status as a full-fledged planet. Back in the days when New Orleans had five-digit phone numbers, we dialed PLUTO to get the correct time. Before you got it, you'd hear a one-line ad for Coca-Cola. To this day, whenever I think of Pluto I think of an ice-cold six-ounce bottle of Coke. What a great ad buy that was!

The Saints
This is the feast day of St. Bartholomew, one of the Apostles. He is much revered in Italy, and in Florence he is the patron saint of cheesemakers and salt merchants.

Food Namesakes
Baseball outfielder Tim Salmon was born today in 1968.. British comedian Stephen Fry was born today in 1957.. John Cipollina, guitarist with Quicksilver Messenger Service, a major band in the Summer of Love in San Francisco, was born today in 1943.. Max Beerbohm, a British artist of caricatures, was born today in 1872.. Kenny Baker, who played R2D2 in the Star Wars movies, hit the Big Stage today in 1934.

Words To Eat By
"Lyon is full of temperamental gourmets, eternally engaged in a never-ending search for that imaginary, perfect, unknown little back-street bistro, where one can dine in the style of Louis XIV for the price of a pack of peanuts."--Roy Andries de Groot, American food writer.

Substitute "New Orleans" for "Lyon" and "joint" for "bistro," and the sentence remains true.

Words To Drink By
"A little learning is a dangerous thing;
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring;
Their shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
And drinking largely sobers us again.
--Alexander Pope.



Outside World

Don't Wash That Chicken!
Food safety authorities in Canada are saying that it's healthier not to wash chicken before you cook it than to do so. There's a lot of potentially harmful bacteria in most raw chicken, but if you wash it it has a way of spreading around your kitchen. If you just out it right into the fryer or the oven, the heat is plenty high enough to kill all the bacteria. Click here for the article.

Six Out Of Ten Americans Are Drinkers.
Rich people drink more than poor people. White men drink more than black men (by quite a margin.) And here are some more statistics about how we imbibe. Click here for the article.

Is French Cooking Losing Its Frenchness?
That's what some authorities in France think. And they're trying to address the issue, as more ingredients and techniques from Asia, the Americas, and other exotic locales work their ways into the French cuisine. I think this is, indeed, something to worry about. And something for which nothing can be done. Click here for the article.

The Chef's Favorite Dish Is Probably
Not Yours.

This article notes that a customer's tastes are more conservative than a chef's. That's not it; the chefs are jaded by even their best dishes. The effect is that restaurant menus are filled with dishes that don't trigger a hunger on the part of customers. As chefs become more and more a part of the show, this is a growing problem. It's another reason why restaurants operated be former waiters are better than those run by chefs. Click here for the article.

 



Food Funnies

Why It's Called Thousand Island Dressing.
Revealed at last, through the miracle of science. Click here for the cartoon.

How You Can Tell What The Guy In Front Of You Will Order.
There are subtle signs. For example, the fact that he's wearing a green T-shirt tell us that he likes green tea. That's about it, in this case. Click here for the cartoon.

It's Not Funny, #76049043-G.
And this is why people are eating less seafood lately. Click here for the cartoon.

The Birth Of A Famous Cookie.
It happened under a tree, as any schoolchild knows. Click here for the cartoon.

 

Today's Menu

Dining Diary
A rainy, hard-working Sunday is interrupted by a good lunch at a very busy Thai Thai. ¶My wife and daughter come home after a week on the West Coast, and we reunite over a big spread of food at Fausto's.

Restaurant Report
***
Little Tokyo, Mandeville.
For a long time, this was the only sushi game in town. It isn't anymore, but it still holds the top spot on the North Shore.

Recipe
Potato Chips. Someone once asked me whether it's worth it to make your own potato chips. Absolutely! Here's how.

Appetizers
And Leftovers

Food News From All Over
Food Funnies
Resources For Subscribers
Links To Back Issues



Eat Club Vignette

Eat Club Dinners

Thursday, Aug. 26
Nathan's
Slidell
Five courses, $70, inclusive of tax, tip, and wines

greenball

Wed., Sept. 1
Impastato's
Metairie
Five courses, $75, inclusive of tax, tip, and wines

Click here for
menus, info, and reservations.



Join Us For New Year's Eve In Paris!

Eiffel Tower.

Three days in the City of Light, followed by a couple of days in London. Then we ease back into the real world during an eight-day transatlantic crossing on the Queen Victoria, one of the most luxurious ships at sea. It's not as expensive as you might imagine such an indulgence would be. Click here for details.



Radio Man

Daily Radio Show


With Tom Fitzmorris
4-7 p.m. weekdays
1350 AM Radio

Listen Online

Call On Air:
504-528-7043

Report on or ask about any restaurant or recipe. If I don't know, someone listening will!

And, Sometimes.
Noon-3 p.m. Saturdays WWL 870 AM/105.3 FM Call in! 504-260-1870
Toll-free 866-899-0870



Cookbook

Tom Fitzmorris's New Orleans Food

My Best Recipes
Now in its eighth printing, here are the best dishes we're eating today in New Orleans, with clear, well-tested recipes you and your friends will love.

A Great Gift!
I would be pleased to personalize and autograph a copy of New Orleans Food for you or a friend.

Click here to order.



TalkFoodMan

Food Talk Forum

No other online New Orleans food forum has more posts or more interesting people. Tom answers questions and gives opinions, and you're welcome to do the same. All food, no nonsense. Edited and distilled to concentrate the flavors. Click here to read or join in!



HandStar

About The Ratings

Menu's restaurant ratings are based mostly on the degree to which the food excites us, and a little on environment, service, and other considerations. I rate restaurants relative to all other restaurants in the New Orleans area. Here's what the stars mean to me:

*****
Among the best locally.

****
Excellent and ambitious.

***
Worth crossing town for.

**
Recommended.

*
Acceptable.

No star
Unacceptable.

Cost Ratings

Each dollar sign indicates a ten-dollar range, including a normal meal for the restaurant (dinner, if they serve other meals), not including drinks, or tips. So, for example.

1$--$5-15
2$--$15-25
3$--$25-35

. and so on, with no upper limit. While this may seem to have mathematical precision, it varies from diner to diner as much as the star ratings do. So consider this an estimate.



Coffee

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Ask questions, get answers, give opinions, discuss

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List of All Open Restaurants

100 Best Restaurant Dishes

Top Ten Lists

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Eating Around New Orleans Today


1111 Restaurants Open Around Town
Coolinary And Other Special Summer Menus Now In Play

Edible Mediterranean Cruise At Vega Ends In Spain
After eight weeks of special menus highlighting the cuisines of the Med, Vega Tapas Cafe is winding up its annual vicarious tour with an imaginary stop in Spain. That's the country that inspired the tapas revolution, so why not? Through the week, you get seven tapas courses for $27. Another $15 will bring wine pairings. Ah, summer! How delicious it is! Here's the menu:

Tortilla Espanola
Potato omelet with onions and peppers

Pa Amb Tomaquet
Tomato toast with jamon serrano

Escalivada
Roasted summer vegetable salad

Croquetta de Bacalao
Salt cod fritter with alioli

Pulpo de Gallega
Tender sautéed octopus with paprika

Albondigas al a Planxa
Grilled spicy pork meatballs

Sangria Congelado
Frozen sangria

The Spanish menu goes on through Saturday, August 28, ending one of the more attractive and imaginative summertime promotions around town.

*** Vega. Old Metairie: 2051 Metairie Rd., 504-836-2007.

greenball

We Live To Eat At Mr. B's, This Thursday Night.
Thursday night (August 26), Mr, B's is offering a wine dinner featuring the California wines of Joel Gott. It's another in the series of "We Live To Eat" dinners, a promotion encouraged by the Louisiana Restaurant Association. This one has everything Mr. B's is known for except the gumbo ya-ya and the barbecue shrimp (which you've eaten often enough, anyway). That crab cake is, I think, the best in the city.

Reception: Passed Hors d'Oeuvres
Duck Springrolls with ginger dipping sauce
Fried Oysters with horseradish hollandaise
Panko Crusted Shrimp with Crystal beurre blanc
Seared Scallops drizzled with white truffle oil
Wine: Joel Gott Washington State Riesling

Mr. B's Crab Cake
Pan sauteed jumbo lump served with classic ravigote sauce
Wine: Joel Gott Chardonnay

Sauteed Redfish
Butter sauce

Rack of Lamb
Dijon mustard herb bread crumb crust
Wine: Joel Gott "Alakai" Proprietary Red

Chef Michelle's Special Chocolate Creation
Wine: Joel Gott Six Cabernets

The dinner begins at 6:30 with a reception and passed appetizers. The price is $90, inclusive of tax, tip, and wines. To reserve, call Julie at 504-523-6441.

**** Mr. B's. French Quarter: 201 Royal, 504-523-2078.

greenball

All 30 Summer Menus So Far
NOMenu has a page listing not only all the summer specials we know about, but all the menus, too. I'm adding new ones daily. That list is now online here.



Dining Diary

Sunday, August 15. Thai Thai. A real steambath today, with temperatures in the 100s, followed by the usual suddenly-dark afternoon rainstorm. But that worked out fine, because I spent the whole day working on the new website tools. I should have done this long ago.

Lunch at Thai Thai. I ordered the same dish I had on Tuesday at Thai Orchid in Slidell: pad prik king, with beef, green beans, peppers, and onions. The sauce had an almost musky flavor that seemed to come from a mix of garlic and peanuts. It was not nearly as good as the one in Slidell. But I think Ricky may have been a little overwhelmed today. The dining room was nearly full, and the open tables looked recently used. I've never seen the place so busy. Well, the soup was good as usual.

And so ends my "vacation." Instead of a week in California, I stayed here and worked. Still, the break from the radio show relieved a lot of stress. And it's only a month or so until the train trip to Chicago.

*** Thai Thai. Covington: 1536 US 190. 985-809-8905. Thai.

greenball

Monday, August 16. The Marys Return. Vacation's Over. The Best Dinner Ever At Fausto's. My wife and daughter arrived from Los Angeles on separate non-stop flights, at about the same time in the afternoon. They somehow finagled a way to turn the ticket I would have used into one for Mary Leigh, and then to get that one-stop flight switched to a non-stop. This sounds like Jude at work, but Mary Ann said it was just a dice roll that came out a seven.

They also got lucky with the weather. If their flights had come in one hour later, they surely would have been delayed by a black, windy downpour that washed across the city during the last hour of my radio show.

Fausto's.

We reunited over dinner at Fausto's. I learned that I missed nothing much that I would have liked in California. The Marys' greatest indulgence was a night at the Del Coronado Hotel off the coast of San Diego. They used to say that they wanted to go there some day. Now they're going there every time they're within a few hundred miles of the deluxe old place.

Jude drove them around for a week and let them stay in his apartment. He is looking for a house, and the girls assisted with that. He has something else exciting in the works. A film production outfit hired him to manage the completion of a halfway-done project, working out of Paramount Pictures. Jude now has an office and a parking space at Paramount, and has been asked to stay on for the next year. As a result, he's talking about dropping out of USC at least temporarily, so much work does he have coming up.

By the time the appetizers came out, the focus had shifted to this week's life-changing event. Mary Leigh will move into her dormitory at Tulane this Saturday. The logistics are heavy, but the emotional load is even heavier. Except for the post-Katrina interlude, she has lived her whole life at the Cool Water Ranch. And now she's moving out. Hello, so-called empty nest. (How can it be empty with us two big people in it?) Mary Leigh, however, can hardly wait. She has only one downer to deal with: she may not have her beloved Audi on campus until next year.

Stuffed mushrooms.

Even with all this fervent conversation, the food on the table kept grabbing our attention. We started with crabmeat-stuffed mushrooms, which moved far above the ordinary by being served on a stew of tomatoes, peppers, and onions, herbal and peppery.

Caprese salad and bruschetti.

An oversize Caprese salad's tomatoes and mozzarella cheese were abetted big-time by prosciutto. A couple of tomato-topped bruschetti parked alongside that stack. I guess if I wanted to complain about something I could say that the tomatoes were a shade underripe. But I don't. Mary Ann was equally pleased with a crab cake atop a salad (below) with a sort of white remoulade over all.

Crab cake.

Veal with artichokes and mushrooms.

Veal Rolando is named for Fausto DiPietro's brother, who also manages the restaurant (and was running it tonight). A dish named for a restaurant's owner is probably pretty good. (The only better bet in an Italian restaurant is a dish named after the owner's mother.) This was that magical combination of mushrooms, artichokes, white wine, olive oil and herbs you find under many other people's names around town. Fausto's version was on the soupy side, which was fine with me. Really great with me, in fact.

Chicken parmigiana.

Mary Leigh stayed conventionally red-saucy with chicken parmigiana. She gave that a full thumbs up. A good sign; she's very picky about and loves good red-sauce dishes.

Soft shell crab with crab ravioli.

But the dish of the night went to Mary Ann. A fried soft-shell crab atop a half-dozen ravioli stuffed with crabmeat, awash in Alfredo sauce? How could that go far wrong in a restaurant that starts with good ingredients (which they emphatically do here)?

Spumone and cookie.

The girls were itching to leave, but I had a slice of Angelo Brocato's spumone with a hazelnut-puree-stuffed Pirouette cookie leaning against it. None of that made in house, but how do you top Brocato's or Pepperidge Farm?

On the way out, I committed a spoonerism. I told Rolando, "That was the best meal I've ever had here, and I've had nothing but bad meals here!" What I meant to say was that I've never had a bad meal there, or that I've had nothing but good meals there. But both phrases tried to get out at the same time, and they got mixed up. They say the brain is the second thing to go, and the first thing has already left.

But this really was the best of many good meals I've had at Fausto's over the years. Mary Leigh, who was here for the first time and who is leery about new-to-her restaurants, even gave her stamp of approval.

*** Fausto’s. Metairie: 530 Veterans Blvd. 504-833-7121. Italian.


Click here for the Dining Diary entry before the ones above.
Click here for an index to the last five years of entries.



Restaurant Report

starstarstar
pricebar

Little Tokyo

Sushi. Japanese.
Mandeville: 590 Asbury Dr.. 504-727-1532. Map.
Lunch and dinner continuously seven days.
Casual
AE DC DS MC V
Website

WHY IT'S NOTEWORTHY
For a long time, Little Tokyo was the only sushi bar in Mandeville (or Covington, too, for that matter). Having a lock on the market didn't prevent it from becoming one of the best places for sushi and Japanese basics in the entire metro area. Now, even with much more competition, Little Tokyo remains very busy, for the best of reasons: it's still excellent.

WHY IT'S GOOD
The sushi chefs here are not only skillful--they're fun. The regulars joke around with them a lot, and newcomers are included in the chumminess. Meanwhile, the chefs cut sushi from a bigger selection of fish than seems possible in such a small restaurant. The proportions, temperature, moisture content, and everything else is just about perfect. Even the more involved rolls--which in most sushi places are more for effect than flavor--are delicious.

BACKSTORY
This is a franchise of the Little Tokyo in Metairie, opened in 1997. It began with the style and standards of the original place, but over the years has added to it, so that it's now may be the best of the restaurants under the Little Tokyo banner.

DINING ROOM
The sushi bar and dining room are crammed into a converted residential cottage. It doesn't look at all like a sushi bar, inside or out. At standard dining times, it's always a full house, and the brisk take-out business makes the area around the front door sometimes logjammed. The restaurant is a little hard to find. The best instruction is that it's about two blocks behind the K-Mart on the old US 190, at the only traffic signal along that road.

ESSENTIAL DISHES
Edamame
Baked salmon
Lettuce wrap (for two; shrimp, mushrooms and vegetables)
BBQ tuna
Baked mussels with creamy smelt roe sauce
Squid steak
Snowcrab calamari
Seafood and vegetable tempura
Sesame chicken
Yaki tori (broiled, skewered chicken teriyaki)
Gyoza
Tofu steak
Hamachi kama (broiled yellowtail)
Baked seafood
Miso soup
Seaweed salad
Squid salad
Cucumber with seafood salad
Scallop or snowcrab with avocado

Sushi specials:
Angel roll (spicy tuna and snow crab inside, escolar, avocado, wasabi tobiko outside)
Baked salmon roll
Boston hand roll (shrimp, snow crab, avocado, seaweed paper, no rice)
Box sushi (salmon, yellowtail, tuna, and/or eel)
Burning man roll (spicy tuna inside, pepper tuna, avocado, green onion, hot sauce outside)
Cajun pepper tuna sushi / sashimi
Calamari crunchy roll
Chef special roll (yellowtail, salmon, tuna, asparagus, avocado, seaweed paper)
Cowboy roll (beef, lettuce, avocado and snow crab)
Cucumber roll
Dancing tuna roll (spicy salmon, sliced tuna, avocado)
Devil roll (salmon, tuna, yellowtail, cucumber, Japanese yellow mustard)
Dynamite roll (salmon , tuna, wasabi)
Fresh salmon roll
Jazz roll (BBQ eel, avocado, spicy tuna)
Lettuce wrap roll (shrimp, snow crab, avocado, lettuce wrap--no rice)
Louisiana roll (spicy crawfish and avocado)
Mandeville roll (whitefish, snow crab, asparagus, smelt roe, seaweed; whole roll fried)
Manhattan roll (fried soft shell crab, BBQ eel, snow crab, avocado, smelt roe)
Old school roll (scallop, tuna, salmon, yellowtail)
Rainbow roll (California roll inside, tuna, salmon, yellowtail outside)
Rice paper roll (tuna, salmon, crab stick, carrot, lettuce, asparagus, cucumber, avocado, rice paper, chili sauce)
Scallop and asparagus roll
Smoked salmon roll
Special eel roll (BBQ eel, cucumber, avocado, smelt roe, sesame, eel sauce)
Spicy tuna roll
Tiger roll (yellowtail, tuna, smelt roe, BBQ eel, salmon, avocado)
Tropical roll (coconut, avocado, mango)
Tuna tataki (sliced seared tuna with ponzu)
Vegetable roll
Yellowtail roll

Noodle dishes:
Tempura udon (shrimp and vegetable tempura)
Nabeyaki udon (seafood noodle)
Yaki udon (pan fried udon noodles with seafood)

Seafood tempura
Steamed fish
Chicken teriyaki
Beef teriyaki
Chicken katsu

FOR BEST RESULTS
Strike up a light, smiling conversation with the sushi chefs. Avoid most of the noon hour and early dinner, when the place is busiest. The limited nature of the cooked side of the menu should tell you something.

OPPORTUNITIES FOR IMPROVEMENT
Only a move to a bigger place could make this place significantly better, but I'd be wary that it would change the dynamics too much.

FACTORS OTHER THAN FOOD
Up to three points, positive or negative, for these characteristics. Absence of points denotes average performance in the matter.

SPECIAL ATTRIBUTES



Recipe

Potato Chips

Homemade potato chips can't be beat. They may not look as good as the ones from a bag, but they sure do taste better. And you eat them hot! We start making chips at the end of a batch of French fries, using the ends of the potatoes.

The challenge is in slicing them, for which you absolutely need a machine of some sort. We have two. I use the mandolin (also known as "The French Widowmaker," for it's ability to slice off the ends of fingers if you're not careful). My wife uses a Ronco gadget she and her siblings bought for their mother in the 1970s. It's called "The Kitchen Magician," and it indeed slices excellent thin chips.

Buying the right potatoes is critical. Get the largest Idaho russets you can find in the bin. Scratch the skin lightly with your fingernail. If there's even a hint of green between the brown of the skin and the white of the flesh, put that one back. Check all the potatoes you buy for frying this way.

The main issue in frying potato chips is that the starches get dark fast, especially around the edges, and make the chips fry unevenly. So you get chips that are crisp around the outside but still flaccid in the center. The tricks that seem to avoid this are rinsing the potatoes in two changes of water right after slicing, and frying at a lower temperature than most recipes call for.

1. Peel the potatoes. Slice them as thin as you can get them without tearing, with uniform thickness. Immediately place them into a large bowl of cold water.

2. When finished slicing, swish the potatoes around in the bowl, then dump out the water. Fill the bowl with cold water and let them stand a few minutes. Swish them around again, then drain.

3. Spread the chips out on a large towel (we use a bath towel for this). Fold it over, and press out all the water. Keep the chips covered until the oil comes to temperature.

4. Heat the oil to 325 degrees, measured on a fry thermometer. Drop about a handful of chips into the oil, and with a slotted spoon stir them around so they don't stick to one another.

5. The chips are perfect when they're light brown (they will be darker than the commercial ones in the bags) and are no longer bubbling much. If they get much darker around the edges than in the center, lower the heat a little.

6. Drain the chips in a basket lined with the inexpensive, bowl-shaped kind of coffee filters. Season with salt and Creole seasoning, then move them far away from the frying pot. You need to start on the next batch, and prevent the entire population of the house from walking up next to you.

Makes not quite enough, no matter how many potatoes or how few people you start with.